Self-Help for leongal

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Thursday, August 21, 2008

How To Work With People You Don’t Like: Engage Them Sincerely

fr: career-success

Some time in your career you will come across having to work with people you don’t like. So, how do you work with people you don’t like? Admittedly, it is a huge challenge for many people. Even for me personally. I still grapple with the issue. But it is a fact of working life, no matter how much we do not like it, these interactions are crucial to get work done.

Many newbies and veterans alike are caught asking this question day-in and day-out at work – how do you work with people you don’t like? Do you force yourself to do it? Pretend we like them? What else can you do besides being pretentious? Do you really leave your values at home when you go to work?

The answer is – no, you do not have to. Of course the remedy may not be easy. It will entail you having to step out of your ego for a while to see what is truly happening and to give you clarity of the situation. That stepping out of your own ego is the toughest to do. But I assure you, is a worthwhile step. Personally, when I am able to do it, it feels like a huge stone is lifted off my heart.

How to work with people you don’t like? Try these 3 steps individually or in combination.

EngageHow to work with people you don’t like? Engage them is one way. To engage in this case means to communicate with them. Step out of your own ego no matter how difficult it is to get yourself to sincerely talk to them. You may be pleasantly surprised that the other person wants to talk.

To engage also means not to hold any grudges against the other person. Face the issue with the other party and discuss whatever challenges you may have candidly. Say what you mean and mean what you say politely. You can be stern but do not be rude. Be there to want to solve the challenges you are facing with the person. The important thing about how to work with people you don’t like is to be sincere about it.

When you are sincere, you are seeking a win-win situation. You are manipulative when you are seeking a win-lose situation. Think about this when you engage this person. Being sincere is also a transfer of feelings. Which means you want the other person to know that you genuinely want to settle any animosity you have with each other. Build a reputation for yourself as someone who tries to work things out with others when things seem rough. That way it helps you in the long run too.

How do you work with people you don’t like? Try to engage them. Communicate sincerely. Transfer your genuine feelings, after all you did think of wanting to solve the challenge and make things easier for both. You may be surprised the other party wants to engage you too.

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