Improve Your Relationships Dramatically

By Larry Crane

We begin forming relationships from the moment we're born, yet by the time we're adults, it's easy to feel completely inexperienced. Whether we're raised in loving, nurturing homes or in a less open environment, relationships often leave us feeling vulnerable, uncertain, and insecure.A key factor in dealing with the feelings that our interactions with others can evoke is the understanding that relationships are largely borne out of the desire for self-gratification and fulfillment. We usually seek relationships for the way they make us feel; we work to please others so that they will please us. While this is an entirely normal aspect of the human condition, it also leaves us vulnerable to feelings of uncertainty, self-doubt, and fear. These feelings can affect the overall quality of our relationships, even when they are generally loving and supportive.

The key to successful relationships is the ability to release these negative feelings and to focus on the best possible outcome. A solid, satisfying relationship should be a "win-win" situation in which both sides of the relationship enjoy mutual benefits. Free of the anxiety that comes from the fear of rejection or disappointment, this leaves you open to all the positive potential that the relationship can bring.

It's a common notion that the path to getting something begins with wanting it. If we fail to reach a goal or achieve a dream, we tend to program ourselves to believe that we must not have wanted it enough. One problem with this approach is that we often don't realize what it is we truly want -- the decisions and choices we make in life are based on our subconscious desires rather than the things we believe we want. By releasing the pressure of actively wanting, we can make clearer, wiser decisions. It also frees us from the fear of not getting what we want.

A natural by-product of this release is improved patience, a key factor in building a strong relationship. When we program ourselves to be open and accepting, we are able to enjoy the benefits of a solid, healthy relationship without the fear of being let down by others in our lives. Imagine the benefits of being able to enjoy something for what it is, without worrying about what will happen if it goes away.

By releasing the emotions of wanting, fear, anxiety, and self-doubt, we are able to take an active role in accepting a positive outcome. This contributes to the confidence and ease with which you negotiate the relationship, whether romantic or platonic, and can significantly improve all the relationships in your life.

Of course, romantic relationships tend to bring us the most anxiety and fear. One reason for this is a misinterpretation of the meaning of love. We are often led to believe that love means needing someone, or depending on them for our emotional satisfaction. Naturally, then, we're afraid of the impact of losing that relationship. However, love is actually the ability to be open with someone, an emotional freedom to enjoy the rewards of the relationship without the stress of potentially losing it.

This relief extends into the bedroom, as well. While sexual mores have certainly relaxed a bit in the last century, sex itself is still tangled up in a web of emotion and self-serving desires. True intimacy is driven by lovingness rather than personal gratification -- a sharing of pleasure and happiness. As you release the negative feelings often associated with sex, like self-consciousness, guilt, or the need for approval, you can find yourself more in "sync" with your partner. Free of the demands of unrealistic expectations or restrictive goals, you can enjoy the experience for what it is -- an open, loving exchange of happiness and enjoyment.
Releasing is a powerful tool in building strong relationships, but it's not limited to improving your interactions with others. By the same token, releasing in other areas of your life can have a direct impact on your ability to enjoy a satisfying, rewarding relationship. Through this powerful method, you can achieve goals that most of us share: financial freedom, emotional well-being, true and lasting happiness. It's not hard to see how these things can leave us in an even better position to take part in a healthy relationship. The more we release, the freer we are to welcome life's rewards. Instead of deflecting or avoiding negativity, which many of us are taught to do, releasing helps us to meet it head on, and then let go of it. There will always be roadblocks and obstacles on our journey; knowing how to deal with them and overcome them is the true key to happiness and prosperity.