Self-Compassion: The Key to Improving Your Life Now

by Dr. Annette Colby

We all know what it’s like to want to live a better life. We want to be healed of our childhood wounds. We want to be free of the burdens that weigh us down. We want to feel happier and more content. We want to be engaged in a life we love. We want our hearts to sing, our minds to relax, and our bodies to feel good.

In over 20 years helping people make a shift into a more fulfilling life, I know firsthand what works and what doesn’t, what brings success and what brings struggle. From my years of interaction, I have found one tool that makes the most difference to people’s successful transformation. That tool is self-compassion.

What is self-compassion? Consider your answers to these questions:

• Are you compassionate and gentle to yourself when you lose, fail, or face disappointment as well as when you win or excel?

• Are you kind and forgiving to yourself when you feel regret and sadness?

• Do you build yourself up instead of beating yourself down?

• Are you more likely to think, “Everybody makes mistakes now and then” or fall into a “I’m such a loser” attitude?

In short, self-compassion is having mercy and sweetness for yourself no matter what else you might be experiencing. It is the ability to treat yourself kindly in the face of failure, rejection, defeat, and other difficult experiences. And it is the ability to accept yourself as human, having a wide variety of human experiences.

There are always things in life or in ourselves that we are not quite satisfied with. Cultivating self-compassion helps you focus on your present circumstance with more kindness and less judgment. By doing so, you are more likely to relax and find your creative center. Tapping into deep inner creative resources can lead you to discover new solutions to life’s unpleasant events.

When things get rough, take a breath, and give yourself a big compassionate break. You deserve it!