Take This Relationship Philosophy To Work

By Kevin Burns - Author & Attitude Adjuster, the Official Guide To Attitudes

A few months ago I was sent an email link to a video by Mark Gungor, a pastor from Green Bay, Wisconsin. Mark, in addition to being a pastor, is a facilitator of relationships. I watched the video and laughed so hard. Mark is also a stand-up comedian combining humor, values and real relationship solutions.

Last month I was visiting Green Bay and who do I run into in the mall? Mark Gungor. I recognized him right away since after watching the YouTube video, I ordered his DVDs. I had been watching them on the plane while laughing like a crazy person and lo and behold, there he was walking through the mall with his wife of thirty-five years, Debbie. We had a brief conversation and promised each other to keep in touch.

One of Mark’s philosophies in his program is advice to guys: “Be nice to the girl.”

How simple is that really? Just be nice. It’s not hard; in fact, it is easier than taking out the garbage or visiting your mother-in-law’s house. Just be nice. If the only time you spoke to your spouse was to point out their faults, that they did something wrong, messed up or screwed up, how long do you think your relationship would last?

Now take that same philosophy to work. (I know, I know. You think you’re supposed to check all home “stuff” at the door when you walk into work. Well you don’t do you?)

Think about working with employees as a relationship. The more you engage them in feeling better about the contributions they make, the more they will want to make the contribution. Jeez it's not that hard. Just be nice to people. Give a compliment when someone does something well. It will be easier to offer constructive criticism later if you’ve built up some respect from a little kindness. Trust me, it will mean much more.

People want to work for people who are just nice people. How hard is it really to offer a compliment? If it's hard for you, you're likely the wrong guy in charge.

You have to know, that in addition to being rewarded well financially, the one thing employees want (consistently finishing in the Top Five) is recognition. They want to be told they’re doing well – so tell them. If you give your people what they want, they will want to do more for you.

Be nice to your people. That doesn’t mean that you don’t address issues as they need addressing, but if people are doing things well, how hard would it be to tell them they’re doing it well? It’s only as hard as you make it.

And the same philosophy applies to standing in line at a Starbucks or wherever else you might find yourself getting impatient. Be nice to the person behind the counter. The whole world doesn’t stop because your venti, double shot, non-fat, extra-hot, caramel macchiato isn’t perfect.

“But for five bucks it should be perfect,” you might say.

Well, you’re being paid more than five bucks. Shouldn’t the same rules apply to you? Or would you prefer that someone is nice to you too?