7 simple steps you can take as soon as you realize you’ve made a mistake

by Wendy McDonnell

1. Accept what happened. Take responsibility for it. Taking ownership of the situation rather than trying to cover it up will restore trust in yourself and others. Every consequence is feedback about what works and what doesn’t.

2. Discuss it. Invite other people involved to talk about what happened, what you had in mind, why your strategy didn’t work, and offer a suggestion of how you might correct it.

3. Listen to the feelings and needs of others. How do they feel about what happened? What do they need? What would they like to do about it? Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if the situation was reversed?

4. Sincerely acknowledge other’s feelings and needs. Say sorry if that helps. What does the other person need from you to restore trust?

5. Do what you can to restore goodwill together. Work with the other person to decide on the best way for you to make amends.

6. What did you learn? Tell yourself and the other person how you’ll act differently. Focus on the positive, creative energy of the needs you were trying to meet. Focus on what you want to do now rather than what you want to avoid.

7. Don’t dwell on the mistake. Keep focused on what you learned and how you’ll do things differently. If goodwill has been restored, move on and stay present and compassionate with yourself. Remember, that your relationship may need time and reassurance to build the trust that you once had.