Ten Ways To Increase Dating Confidence

By Debra Berndt
Instead of getting a tummy tuck or eye lift, you may want to consider these ten ways to increase your dating confidence for an inner makeover.

1. Be conscious of your self-talk. Identify the voice inside that doesn’t often speak nicely to you. Become a witness to those defeating thoughts from a higher perspective with loving compassion. Gently guide your thoughts to more supportive ideas and create new habits of thinking that lift you up rather than tear you down.

2. Be aware of your environment. Surround yourself with people that support you. Spend less time with those who do not make you feel good about yourself, including critical family members!

3. Stop judging yourself on external situations. Feeling great when you have dates and feeling bad when you don’t is a prison. There is no freedom in life when your joy depends on something or someone outside of you.

4. Make a list of all of your good qualities. Visualize and identify with your ideal self, your true magnificence. If you have a hard time coming up with “good” things, ask friends to tell you what they love about you. If you are still stumped, go back to number 1!

5. Change your subconscious mind. The best way to the pattern of false beliefs in your thinking is to use self-hypnosis. The altered state allows new ideas to flow to the subconscious mind with more empowering ideas. The pattern of thinking will shift automatically and the quality of your life will improve significantly.

6. Don’t be fooled by the “love” feeling. Most make their dating decisions based on their emotions. Unfortunately, the infatuation sensation mostly comes from unhealed places instead of true unconditional love that leads to a lasting healthy relationship. If the “love” feeling is entwined with desperation and fear, you are not in a mutually loving relationship.

7. Take care of your body. Fill your body with healthy food, exercise and give yourself plenty of time for relaxation. Honoring your body is another way of loving yourself.

8. Discovery your spirituality. If you have specific religious beliefs, visit your church or read books related to your particular path and improve your relationship with God, the universe or a higher power. If you are not religious, find harmony in nature or a particular passion (art, writing, music). Instead of making the people you date your personal “God,” find another source to connect with the divine within you.

9. Find a hobby besides dating! Nurture your soul by finding your life’s passion. Instead of focusing on making a special person your central mission, you can let go of need to look for someone to complete you. As you see yourself more complete within, you will not only be more attractive but less needy when you are dating.

10. Romance Yourself. Think of things you would like a romantic partner to do for you and do those things for yourself. By being the source of your own love, you are not desperate and clinging for others’ approval. Treating yourself with respect, nurturing and adoration will undoubtedly attract those who will do the same for you.