Boss's pet and Favoritism

From: fairy-tales-fables-business.blogspot.com

1. Top performer

The persons who can excel in work performance must surely
be liked. Only the self-serving bosses will see these talented
workers as a threat to their position and find excuses to put
them down. Good bosses, on the other hand, assign their most
important accounts and clients to these top performers. Their
rewards, incentives, and benefits may be the envy of the other
staff. Nonetheless, many do not resent the unequal treatment
provided that they too are recognized and credited for the
efforts that they have put into their area of work.

2. Blue-eyed boy

Sometimes, the reasons for liking a person go beyond work
per se. We may like an employee for his work attitude, dynamic
character, creative mind, leadership qualities, or warm
personality. We may admire his talents and experience in other
fields. We may view him as our successor and groom him to be
such. While it is rare to spot a gem, a boss should not shut his
mind to other potential candidates. Give everybody a fair
chance to shine and who knows, there can be another raw and
better talent sitting in a corner of the office.

3. Sweet talker

A boss's schedule can be so hectic that entering the office is like
immersing into a pressure cooker. We have little patience for
staff who are always criticizing our policies and opposing our
views, even if they mean well. Conversely, we like hearing from
staff who are skillful communicators. When they disagree with
us, they are able to present their views in a manner that is non-
confrontational and respectful.

We must draw a line to bootlicking and fawning, or flattering
for the sake of gaining a favor from us. Of course, this lot of
people also get the attention of some bosses, but they add no
value to the company since they are always in agreement with
their bosses.

4. Confidante

The man at the helm often loses touch with the people on the
ground. A worker who constantly shares with the boss
information, gossip and facts on the morale and happenings
within the office will become a boss's confidante. A good
manager should however not be overly reliant on the advise
by one person. Keeping the ears to the ground involves
listening to many people to ensure impartiality and
objectivity in the information.

5. Problem solver

Just like any staff in the organization, bosses have their own
problems ranging from matrimonial matters to their power
fight with their superiors. It is true that staff should approach
their boss when faced with a problem at work. Nevertheless,
the thoughtful and able staff are those who present the problem
together with suggested solutions. Not only do they lighten the
burden of the bosses, they are recognized for their problem
solving skills. If the boss is impressed, he might consult this
staff for advise over his own problems as well.

6. Thoughtful staff

Take good care of your boss. Any thoughtful gesture towards
maintaining his health and well-being, or protecting his position
and status in the company will not go unnoticed.

Relationships and Sustainability

by Lissa Coffey

There is an old saying that says: “Make new friends, and keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.”

Life is all about relationships. We have a relationship with the environment, with our work, with our home, and especially with the people in our lives. Earth Month gives us an opportunity to look at how we can make things last, to best maximize the resources we have. It takes a lot of energy to develop a friendship. A friendship is an investment of our time and emotions. And we benefit from having these people in our lives in countless ways. How can we best sustain our relationships, given the overwhelming obligations that we face on a daily basis? Here are a few tips:

-Be available. Sure, you’ve got an e-mail, cell-phone and facebook page. But can your friends really reach you? Sometimes we’re so bogged down by technology that we forget the reasons we got started on it in the first place. We can get our social networking “friends” mixed up with our true friends, the ones who want to be there for us no matter what our status update says. So, when a friend is moving, reach out and offer to help. If a friend is going through a hard time, go over and hold her hand. Take him our to dinner and let him talk. Let your friends know that you are there for them, with your actions, as well as your words.

-Be honest. Honesty is the most important key to making any relationship work, and last. Always tell the truth. It’s that simple. Honesty, integrity, authenticity, and trust – they all go hand in hand. Do what you say you are going to do. Show up when expected. There is no need to judge or criticize, allow your friend to be himself, as they allow you to be yourself.

-Be present. When you are with your friends, really be with your friends. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by your iPhone or anything that is happening outside of the present moment. Listen, and respond. Make this time together your priority. Enjoy your friendship, relax and be yourself.

-Be in touch. Check in with your friends. Ask how they are doing. Know what is happening in their lives. Invite people over. Connect. Years go by really quickly, and before you know it, friendships fade away. Take just a moment to touch base with your friends and let them know that you appreciate them. Show this person in your life how wonderful they are, and much they mean to you. Send birthday cards, make phone calls, and write thank you notes. Share photos online, and stay involved even from afar.

-Be mindful. If a relationship is draining you, if it no longer serves you, or makes you feel bad, then it’s time to walk away. Relationships should be healthy, and make you feel good. The best friendships nurture your spirit. So if a relationship is toxic, then follow the environmental tip and “reduce” it from your life. Remember that your first relationship is with yourself. Be true to yourself.

Avoid These Relationship Traps and Build a Stronger Union

by Dr. Richard Nicastro

I'm often asked, "What is one of the most challenging issues couples face today?"

While every couple is different, there are themes that I see in my work as a couples counselor and relationship coach. One common issue is the difficulty couples have in prioritizing their relationship—a form of relationship neglect.

Relationship problems stemming from relationship neglect

Have you ever thought of yourself as neglectful? Probably not. When people think of neglect, it usually has to do with issues regarding children and parenting. But the fact is that many couples ignore their marriage or relationship to such a degree that marital and relationship problems often result—isn't it neglectful to ignore something so much that it becomes damaged or unhealthy?

As long as you and your partner continue to neglect the relationship, you increase the chances of marital problems or relationship problems.

Why is relationship neglect so widespread?

1. Lack of awareness

One reason is that couples simply don't realize that attention must be given their relationship in order to keep it healthy. The "if it isn't broken don't fix it" mindset keeps couples blind to the fact that relationships require ongoing maintenance, before problems surface. Try to develop a preventive medicine mindset to keep your marriage or relationship running as smoothly as possible.

Now that you've read this section, you've raised your awareness enough to stop relationship neglect!

2. Lack of adequate attention

"But we had 'date night' last month and still nothing has improved…"

You and your spouse/partner probably spend a great deal of time together. What percentage of that time would you say is dedicated to nurturing intimacy and the relationship? Two hours of 'date night' each month probably won't cut it. It wasn't enough for the couple quoted above. While it's a great idea to create specific times designated to focusing on each other, don't short-change yourself and the relationship in the time department.

You're in good company if you are too strapped for time. If so, rather than plan for large chucks of time, try shorter but more frequent meetings where the two of you can connect.

3. Lack of follow through

Emotional pain pulls for your attention and some sort of action. When you or your spouse/partner are in distress (due to a lack of intimacy, frequent conflicts, or unhappiness with the relationship) you may find that you're ready to give your relationship some attention. This might involve efforts to improve communication, creating opportunities to have more fun together, or even making an appointment with a marriage therapist or couples counselor.

Too frequently, couples take these initial steps, feel a little better but then fall back to their neglectful patterns. And when this happens, it's easy for you to conclude: "I tried, but things between us are just hopeless." Improving and sustaining the health of your marriage or relationship takes consistent and sustained follow through—not a one-time barrage of good will and attention.

Becoming good at something takes both time and effort: Great athletes, musicians and artists practice—a lot. When they stop, their performance suffers. Why should your relationship be any different? Couples who have successful marriages or relationships work at it.

Are you ready to create a plan to prevent relationship neglect so that you can experience the gifts of love, intimacy and a fulfilling union?

Creating a Lasting Relationship: 5 Steps to Getting it Right

by Jenn Kaye

Have you ever heard the old saying that “Relationships take work?” How does that make you feel when you hear that? Tired? A little frustrated? Do your eyeballs roll back in your head when you think of “working” on your relationship after a long day at the office, or running errands all day, picking up the kids from school and making sure bills are paid on time?

Let’s face it, with everything else going on in our lives, and constant information overload, who wants to “work” on their relationship? Sure, everyone wants to improve their relationship, experience more intimacy, be appreciated more by their significant other, have more (and better) sex, feel more supported, have more time to themselves (without feeling guilty), but how do you get all that without having to work for it?

Seriously, have you ever thought you asked for something simple, like some affection or a night out on the town, and received a response that made you feel like you had just asked for the little people at the earth to stop the planet from spinning on its axis just so you could feel like you were special for a moment?

Relationships are rife with miscommunication and misunderstanding. Truly, we are lucky to just get it right some days.

In an effort to help you get more of what you want more often and experience the connection you really want in your relationship, here are 5 simple steps that will help make yours last:

1. Never Assume, Always Ask. I do not care if you have been together for over 20 years and believe you know what the other person’s response is going to be to everything. More feelings are hurt and more communications misunderstood because of a simple assumption. Cut it out. Do not assume that you know what your significant other wants or doesn’t want, what they need or how they are going to react to a situation. Respect them enough to be upfront and ask them. You may be surprised at their response.

2. Practice ACTIVE Listening. Yes, this goes together with never assume, always ask. If you are going to ask, you must really listen to your partner’s response. When someone else is talking, let them finish talking completely. Do not interrupt them to insert your own response – when you are already thinking about what you are going to say next, before they have even finished talking, you cannot be present and fully aware of what they are saying. Think about how it feels to you when your partner actually hears what you are trying to communicate and give them the gift of listening actively.

3. Use Your Words. Growing up in my family, one of our household rules was “No Whining.” We had to use real words and explain what we were feeling so that the rest of the family knew what you were experiencing and could provide the appropriate response or action. Sighing and rolling eyeballs (contrary to popular belief) are not, repeat NOT clear forms of communication. Nor does giving someone the evil eye mean that they are magically going to read your mind. Stop expecting them to. Express yourself clearly by using words and phrases that put you back in control of your communication and takes the guess work out of the translation for others.

4. Leave the Skeletons in the Closet. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Those controversial moments in time you had long forgotten and thought you would never hear about again until that one disagreement or argument when any past hurt or misdeed rises up from the depths of the past as ammunition for the current moment. Stop holding on to past hurt, or do what you must to heal if you are using the past as an excuse for present situations. Keep current disagreements about current events. You will have more credibility and get more respect from your significant other.

5.Celebrate Each Other. Male or female, we all want similar things in our relationships. To be appreciated, acknowledged, nurtured, supported, respected and loved. So, do one small thing each day to celebrate each other. Tell him he looks handsome in that new blue shirt, that she is beautiful and you’re the luckiest man in the world. Thank him for taking the trash out or putting the kids to bed. Tell her you appreciate everything she does for you. Leave love notes or send your significant other a card in the mail. It really is the little things that make such a big difference. Make the time to celebrate each other so you build a solid foundation of connection that will last the test of time.

You've Got Spinach in Your Teeth

By Cindy Loughran

Ever been in a conversation with someone who has a little piece of spinach between their front teeth? There it is, glaring at you with every syllable she speaks, yet she has no idea it's there. You keep thinking, I wish she'd get that piece of spinach out of her teeth. If she only knew how that little green glob was detracting from her message and eroding her credibility. You know that everyone she speaks to is going to walk away remembering the spinach rather than her words.

You want to fix it for her, take your pinky fingernail and scrape it away, but you can't. You want to tell her, but there are others around and you don't want to embarrass her. You sit helplessly wishing you could change things for her.

As with the spinach, we all have aspects of ourselves and our behavior that we aren't aware of. We call them our blind spots. They are evident to everyone else but ourselves. For example, I have a client who is a fast-paced, no-nonsense communication manager for a highly visible organization. She is very talented, passionate about her work, the mission of her organization and its reputation. In her haste to be responsive to media requests and to get 'the right message' out, she often is abrupt with co-workers. In fact, she's brought more than one to tears. But she's moving so fast and is so focused on the outcome that she isn't even aware of the effect she has on others. When this was finally brought to her attention, she was genuinely shocked.

I was hired to coach her to help her identify and implement a different, more effective approach. The first time I met with Donna, she was still in the dark. She had heard the message that she was upsetting and alienating others, but she still didn't get it. She was still not aware. We sat down with her boss, and I asked him to give her some examples of when she had upset others. Her boss had several, which he shared in very specific terms. While Donna recalled the events, her memory of the impact she had had was quite different from the picture her boss painted. In fact, she had no idea that she had such a negative effect. Once aware, Donna was on alert. She started paying close attention to her interactions. She started to watch how others responded to her. She became aware of the powerful and often intimidating way in which she came across to people. She got it!

Awareness was only the first, albeit, critical step. Like the first smell of smoke when a fire is about to erupt. Now, she had to discover what triggered her behavior and develop new, more effective actions. I asked her to begin to observe herself, just as she had observed the reaction of others.

As a result of being a witness to her own behavior, she noticed that her body felt tense and her breathing became shallow under stressful circumstances. She actually felt fearful. Her inner voice began to warn her that things were going to go badly. She began to respond out of fear. You know, the place where you'd come from if you were being stalked by a tiger. That fear. It's a natural response. It's automatic, fight or flight! But it's a bit of overkill under the circumstances. Once she saw what was happening, she could take proactive steps to respond differently. She could change the conversation in her head, tell herself there was no real imminent danger, and she could choose a different, more effective way to communicate to gain both the information she needed and the relationships she wanted.

Now Donna's challenge is to make being an observer of herself a habit. She has to slow down enough to notice the physical and emotional cues her body is giving her and to quickly assess their relevance and respond appropriately. With enough practice, this process will become as automatic as her current fight or flight response... but it will be much more effective and will help her be much more successful and satisfied in her career.

If you aren't getting the results you want or having the relationships you'd like, pay close attention to people's reaction to you. Then, create a habit of observing yourself just as you observe others. It is a powerful way to increase self-awareness and therefore, self-development and growth.

Relationships: The Art of Listening

by Margaret Paul

In 1974, Dr. Virginia Satir presented the concept of mirroring in her groundbreaking book, "Conjoint Family Therapy."

In 1975 Dr. Thomas Gordon wrote a best-selling book called "Parent Effectiveness Training." In the book he taught parents to "active listen," which means to reflect back to the speaker the feelings and information they are trying to convey.

Mirroring, or active listening, is a powerful tool, but whether or not it works depends upon your intent.

If you are active listening to another with an agenda to get them to see what they are doing wrong, or to get them to listen to you after you listen to them, then your intent in listening is to control. The person you are listening to can easily pick up the energy of control and will get angry or go into resistance. Listening with the intention to control backfires and just creates confusion in communication.

However, active listening from a true desire to understand another's feelings and point of view can be magical. When you listen to learn and understand, rather than to control, you give the other person a great gift.

We all want to be heard and understood. While it is our responsibility to hear and understand ourselves - our own feelings and needs - and take loving action for ourselves, it also feels wonderful when someone we care about hears and understands us. This is the basis of emotional intimacy.

When I work with couples, I teach them that there are only two healthy ways of dealing with conflict:

1. Move into an intent to learn
2. Speak your truth and lovingly disengage

Moving Into an Intent to Learn

When you really desire to understand another, you move into an intent to learn - both about yourself and about them. Actively listening to the other is a major aspect of learning. When you really want to deeply know another, you listen carefully and mirror back to them what you hear them saying and feeling. It is not a matter of agreeing with them, but of understanding them. It is not about changing them or changing yourself, but about really hearing them and attempting to see the world through their eyes - understanding the good reasons they have for feeling and behaving as they do.

For example:

Your partner: "I'm still angry at you for being late and not calling me when you know I worry about you."

You: "I hear you saying that it's really unsetting to you when I don’t call when I'm going to be late. You feel I don't care about the fact that you worry."

Your partner: "Right. If you really cared about me, you wouldn't want me to worry."

You: "I understand. It hurts your heart when you know that I know you worry and I don't seem to care about that."

Partner: "Yes, that's exactly right. So if you understand this, are you going to start to call me when you are late?"

You: It sounds like you believe that if I understand you, then I will change - that I have no good reasons for not calling, is that right?

This dialogue can go on until it feels complete to both of you.

Your partner may or may not want to hear why you were late without calling, and you need to let go of getting him or her to hear you. That's the hard part!

Speaking Your Truth and Lovingly Disengaging

There are times when, even if you are open to learning and really want to understand another, the other is just intent on attacking and blaming you. When this is the case, you might want to speak your truth and lovingly disengage. This looks like saying something like: "I'd love to talk with you about this when you stop being angry," and then walking away, keeping your heart open. This means that you are not withdrawing in anger or blame. You are staying in compassion for yourself and the other person so that when he or she opens, you have no residue because you have taken full responsibility for yourself.

Once the other person is no longer angry and blaming, you might want to again open to learning and active listening to them - with no agenda that he or she listens to you. True listening is an act of giving with no expectation of anything in return. It is a kind and loving way to interact with someone you care about. It is a great gift.

Don't

The Anger Diet: How to Be Calm, Balanced, and Positive, No Matter What’s Going On

by Brenda Shoshanna

Everyone wants to be beautiful, young, healthy, and fit. Available diets and workouts have no end. Yet, the most important diet has been overlooked—this is a diet that releases stress, lets you sleep soundly at night, reduces cravings, makes you feel young, and brings wonderful possibilities into your life. This is a diet that gets rid of the number one toxin that destroys well-being: anger.

Road rage, school shootings, depression, workplace violence, addiction, and even the national obesity epidemic are manifestations of this great problem gripping our society. Anger has many faces. It appears in various forms and creates different consequences. Overt anger is the simplest to deal with and understand, but unfortunately, most anger lurks beneath the surface. As it often does not come to our awareness, it manifests in endless, hidden ways—as depression, anxiety, apathy, or hopelessness, among others.

Today, we fear all kinds of external enemies. It is not so easy to realize, however, that the worst enemy we face is the anger that resides within us, the terror it causes, and the way this poison affects so much of our lives. It is one thing to be told to calm down or to forgive one another. It is another to know how to do this. Even though we may want to forgive, anger can keep arising, disrupting our bodies, minds, and spirits.

However, we can take many specific steps to root this toxin out of our lives. As we do, the results will be reflected not only in our mental and emotional well-being but also in our environment and physical health. Love and forgiveness arise naturally, and our lives and relationships become all they are meant to be.

A Few of the 24 Forms of Anger

The first step in rooting anger out of our lives is to become aware of it. It is crucial that we recognize the many ways in which anger camouflages itself. When anger is allowed to remain camouflaged and hidden, it holds us in its grip. By recognizing the different forms of anger we begin the important step of replacing each one with a healthy antidote, thus letting it go. As we do this, it is easy to see that anger is a choice we make. By choosing to replace our angry responses with life-giving, constructive ones we can stop anger on the spot.

1.Straightforward anger, attack. This is anger that is clear-cut and easy to recognize. The anger comes right out. Many regret it afterward, feeling that they couldn’t control themselves. This kind of anger has a life of its own; it rises like a flash flood and can easily turn into verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.

2.Hypocrisy. You are angry, but you hide it beneath a smile and present a false persona, pretending to be someone that you’re not. This behavior evolves into bad faith of all kinds. Although you think that you are fooling others, in truth, you are losing yourself and your own self-respect.

3.Depression. Depression is pervasive these days, and it ranges the gamut from mild to severe. Depression is anger and rage turned against oneself. It comes from not being able to identify or appropriately express the anger one is feeling. It then simply turns into depression attacks against the person who is experiencing it.

Steps to Dissolving Anger

Needless to say, we can take many different steps to undo different forms of anger. The important point to realize is that anger can be dissolved in a moment. We can choose to see things differently. We can choose to have a different response.

It takes only a moment to escalate a situation, and in that same moment the trouble can be de-escalated. We must stop in the middle of automatic anger that arises and take charge of what is going on. We can and must decide that we will not let anger take over and rule. We have the right and responsibility to choose how we will respond.

1.Straightforward attack. Stop in the middle of a situation in which you feel angry or are being attacked. Rather than responding in a knee-jerk manner, say to yourself, “Like me, this person has suffered. Like me, this person wants to be happy. Like me, this person experiences loneliness and loss.” As you do this, you are recognizing the similarities and common humanity you share, rather than focusing on the differences. For a moment, allow the person to be right. You have plenty of time to be right later. Ask yourself what is more important to you, to be “right” or to be free of anger? Choose compassion, and see how you feel. See how the other feels as well. Watch new vistas open in your life.

2.Hypocrisy. When you notice yourself pretending, lying, exaggerating, or deceiving, stop. Tell the truth at that moment. Be the truth. If you do not know what the truth is, be silent, and become aware of what the deepest truth is for you. This does not mean pouring out negativity or blaming the other. It means taking responsibility for what is real and true for you. This will not only restore goodwill; it will also connect you with what is most meaningful in your life.

3.Depression. Make friends with yourself today. When we are depressed, we reject, hate, and blame ourselves. Undo this false state of mind. Find five things you admire and respect about who you are. Focus on sharing your good qualities with another. In depression we are only absorbed with ourselves. A wonderful antidote is to become absorbed with how you can reach out to help another.

As we root anger out of our lives and find meaningful substitutions, not only our lives but the lives of our loved ones, friends, and acquaintances will be lifted and enhanced. Try the full anger diet and see.

Success in the Stairway: Your Path to the Top

By Kevin Eikenberry

Imagine walking into a 20-story office building, knowing that your upcoming meeting is on the top floor.

You walk into the building and immediately search for the elevators.

To your surprise, and disappointment, some of the elevators show "out of order" signs, and the rest are currently being worked on by a team of repairmen.

You ask one of the repairmen how to get up to your meeting on the 20th floor, and he points to a nearby door and says with a shrug, "You'll have to take the stairs."

While a situation exactly like this may have never happened to you, metaphorically, it's your life.

You want to reach the top of your career, the top of the pay scale, the pinnacle of success.

You want to not only do well, but find the shortcuts or "elevator" to the top.

While you know your success in any endeavor, personal or professional, requires some effort, wouldn't you like to make it as painless and easy as possible (which, of course, is why we consistently look for the elevator or the fast track)?

There are no "overnight" successes.

Great success comes from "taking the stairs" and moving toward your goals one step at a time.

As you start to walk up the stairs to your meeting, you realize that while you would have rather ridden, there are some advantages to the stairway.

You are getting exercise, building your stamina, gaining a new perspective, creating a new experience, and as you climb the last flight of stairs, you realize the pride that comes from the effort!

All of these things are true for the effort you put into life. The efforts you expend create exactly these same benefits: exercise, stamina, perspective, experience, and pride.

Given the metaphor of "success in the stairway," what are the ways you can take the reality of effort and make the most of your effort, improving your likelihood of reaching the top floor as quickly as possible?

There are five ways you can use your effort intelligently to make your path to the top straighter and more direct -- even if you do have to walk:

* Informed effort (Find the correct stairway.). Many people believe that to create great results, you must work hard. Effort, as you've already seen in this article, is required, but the effort doesn't have to be hard. More important hard work is informed effort. Are you doing things the way other successful people have done them? Are you taking time to learn the things that will minimize your effort? Make your effort more informed, and you will make your job easier.

* Continual effort (Keep walking.). Getting into the stairway is great, but you won't reach the top unless you keep walking. In order to be successful, you must make continual effort. What did you do last week to move toward your success? What about yesterday? What have you done (or will you do) to create greater success today?

* Reframe effort (Does it have to be work?). If you always think about your work being hard, guess what it will be? (Here's a hint -- it will be hard.) But does work have to be hard? Could it be enjoyable? Could it be rewarding? Once you create a new frame of reference for effort, you make climbing the steps to your success so much easier.

* Collaborative effort (Why not climb together?). Find others to travel with you. When most people feel like a part of something larger than themselves -- whether through a teammate or a friend -- they will be more disciplined and more effective. Who do you know that could mentor you or work with you or support you? Or, who can you mentor, help, or support?

* Enthusiastic effort (Enjoy the trip.). Choose to enjoy the trip up the stairs. The fact is the elevator is broken; the walk is real and necessary. Why not choose to find the positive and enjoy the experience? You know that when you are enjoying a situation it goes faster and easier -- and you are probably more productive as well. You know this is true. Make the choice to be more enthusiastic and positive.

Yes, effort is definitely still required, but these are things you can do to make that effort more effective and enjoyable.

Potential Pointer: Success in any area of life requires effort -- there is no free lunch. But how you view and tackle that effort will make all the difference in the speed and ease with which you climb your path to the top.

Your Happiness: 5 Simple Ways It Makes Your Life Work Better

By Warren Wojnowski

Do you move through your life feeling frustrated and stressed, finding too many things that just aren't working? Do you find yourself wishing you could find some way to begin to make your life work better? If that describes you and how you feel, then read on because you are about to learn a simple adjustment you can make in your life to help things immediately begin to work better and feel better.

Let's follow up with one more question. When was the last time you actually, deliberately stopped and decided it was time to make your happiness a priority for yourself?

If you're like most people, it has been a very long time because for the most part, you are placing all of your time, energy, and focus on all of the things you feel you have to do. Doing what makes you happy likely feels like some far-off dream because all you see in front of you are things that make you feel unhappy, tired, and stressed.

No doubt you have heard the phrase "change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change."

Well... here's a novel suggestion. If you'd like to make your life work better, start focusing on your happiness instead of the absence of it.

Now let me guess... this sounds too simplistic to you, doesn't it? You're probably wondering how focusing on your happiness is going to help fix things so they work better, right?

Yet the truth is, that's exactly the fix that can have the most immediate impact on your life. Consider the following five ways in which by you focusing your thought and attention on what makes you happy -- and making a point of looking for and acknowledging those things each day -- you will begin to notice things working better in your life.

1. You'll be more attractive to others. As you place your focus and attention on what's right and what's working in your life, you immediately start to feel a little bit better. Because you feel better, you begin to behave and carry yourself differently. And that shift in how you carry yourself makes you much more attractive to others, which means you're going to start receiving more invitations, more opportunities, and more things that are working well for you.

2. Your relationships will work better. Because you are carrying yourself differently, you begin to come across as friendlier, and you'll find that you're better able to listen because you're not so preoccupied with what isn't working. That's going to result in healthier, deeper, more successful relationships with your family, you co-workers, and your friends.

3. Your job or business performance will improve. Your shift in focus carries benefits over to your overall work performance. You will find yourself thinking more clearly, more alert, and making better decisions.

4. Your health will improve. Because you are feeling happier as you place your attention on what is working, a whole set of physiological changes start to occur. Your blood pressure lowers. Your blood flow improves. Your immune system starts working better. These all have a positive impact on the state of your health.

5. You will start to have more flow. By law of attraction, you attract more of what you focus upon. Since you have repositioned your focus and attention on your happiness rather than your unhappiness, guess what happens? You get more of the things that are working better. And now you've got a positive spiral that you've started that is going to deliver more flow and positive momentum into your life going forward. And so begins a positive cycle of being in flow where things start to come more easily and frequently.